Why don’t workers take their vacation?

^this vending machine gets it

This came up last week at work—

My Executive Director emailed me and our HR lead this article: Why Don’t Workers Take Their Vacations?

The article frustrated me.

I admit I haven’t yet found a proper way to think about the balance between working hard and enjoying life.

I very much admire and respect people who are able to sit back and relax - drawing appropriate boundaries around their work and personal lives — say “No” to things — keep a clear calendar — and show up for their families and loved ones.

I admire these traits in a person way more than the trait of working hard.

To be clear, I admire hard work, too. I just don’t admire it as much as society tends to. I certainly don’t base my sense of self worth on it — as I perceive many people do.

I replied to my ED:

Very interesting and thanks for sharing!

I think this is such a fascinating topic to possibly explore.

I don't believe the respondents who cite that they're "saving up banked hours for an emergency" - calling BS on that.

I believe most people aren't honest enough with themselves to cite the true answer, which lies somewhere around: "I don't have strong enough personal or work boundaries" and/or "Our work culture is dangerously dysfunctional and as a product of this culture I too am dangerously dysfunctional" and/or "I am emotionally incapable of asking for what I need" and/or "I am a raging workaholic" and/or "I am mentally ill."

I also think there is validity in a response that cites "I don't have enough money to do anything exciting so I'm just going to work"

People thinking they need to do something exciting with their time off is a disease of our times.

People unable to relax in a chair and do nothing is also a disease of our times.

Just ranting, really. Not really trying to fix anything or make anything better. I kindof thought I was being funny and I kindof thought I was being clever and original. I tend to like myself when I’m acting this way, as long as nobody gets hurt.

My ED replied thoughtfully:

Yes, well who knows what makes people tick. Working because you are passionate to make a difference is rife grounds for burnout, where intrinsic values get exploited via emotional investment, while it also allows for excellence and innovative work and of course everyone has hugely different thresholds.

I did want to explore this theme at our team gathering because people who care deeply and want to do work with the purpose to make a difference are also impacted deeply while we continue to be a marginalized afterthought as a sector. We can be healthy and supportive in our org culture, but mental health is a realm that we are unqualified to dabble in and we have had our fingers rapped when we naively tried. Think we need to acknowledge that individuals all have different avenues to relax i.e. some by doing and some by sitting ... and there is the male / female hormonal makeup that processes/acts differently (not sure why we seem to forget this along with generational differences and norms.

I appreciated her reply.

Our HR lead also weighed in:

This is a great conversation! Drawing good boundaries between work and personal life is key. I would not claim to be an expert at this, often struggling in my own life to get the balance right, but it's always a good topic to discuss.

Male/female differences are very interesting to me at this point in my life (middle aged sandwich generation) and I'm also fascinated by generational differences, particularly as we work with so many young people.

Our society so often feels dysfunctional and I struggle with recognizing my own intrinsic value as a human being compared to how productive I am in work, family life.

Another key element is personal accountability, where you have to take responsibility for your own issues and not get drawn into the culture of blame, or expect that your workplace can solve your own personal issues.

This will be a fun/interesting convo when we are together in person :-)

I’m sure more will be revealed as I continue on my journey of work/life balance. I’m smart enough to know that a lot still exists in the shadow of my personal blind spot. Still, I’m excited by these conversations and I am generally fascinated in learning about how we work, why we work, and what we work.